Transitions are all about change. The life of a parent, with a special-needs child, is all about accepting change. It is about figuring out what to ask for and what to fight for. To accept. To be driven. Somethings, you just can’t change.
I look back and say, “Should I have done something different?” How would she be now, if only? The “if only” can bog you down!
I looked forward and say, “Should I. Can I. Will it make a difference?” The unknown can hold you back!
When I was young, I remember sitting on my mom’s bed. It was a large bed with a black quilt. My dad had a gun under that bed. The room was large and warm to me. The sun shown in the windows in the early evening. When the window was cracked you could hear the howl of the coyotes and the chirp of frogs. One the wall, framed in the thin brown frame hung a picture. Mom had stitched the following prayer
God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference – by Reinhold Niebuhr
Those words have guided my life in so many ways. A different version, probably the original says.
God, give me grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next. Amen.
As a teen, I pondered those words. As an adult, they give me peace. Accepting change is a path to peace.
original version found on Wikipedia